April 4th Notes

Pick a theory and diagnosis for the final!


18 to 24 months, when you can integrate good and bad. people are not all good or all evil. 

a good mother will encourage a child to individuate. a bad mother will punish (or withdraw) the child for individuating.

there is a double blind for a BORDERLINE child.

if she individuates she loses the mom. if she does NOT become her own person she loses the chance to be herself and becomes dependant on the mom and feels helpless.

read this page http://www.contemporarypsychotherapy.org/volume-4-no-2-winter-2012/living-between-rewarding-and-withdrawing-paradigms-of-experience/

Treatment model: Defense – confrontation – defense

BEcause the only experience they have had was either reward for clinging, or punishment and depression for individuation (WORU)

WORU client misses apt, calls names, says you are mean. This is what has to be confronted and the cycle begins again.

———————————- Borderline Competence ————————-

Parenting competence : they assume they are fine but are met with lots of critism

“Unrelenting crisis” vs “Inhibited Grief” . . . everything is a crisis for these folks who don’t have a good attachment they need to grieve for the childhood they did nto get.

feel entitled to everything but the thing they are actually entitled to

Marsha lanahan 

Self Psychologu vs Object Relations

A narcissist needs perfect mirroring and needs safety

They fear that anyone will see and say that they were abandonment. They are ashamed of their needs.

the bond is insecure

Narc= entitled to nothing. .. gives icy withdrawal

Borderline = entitled to everything and will blame and attack


so if you have these in a couple, don’t offend the Narcissist because they won’t return to therapy

A year of birth cohort are people born in the same 7-10 year period.

Know your norms and practices…and culture for older folks.  Don’t aging all older people’s strangeness to

—- Speak slowly.



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