20 observations from watching the metal detector

What I’ve learned from sitting just inside the lobby, by the metal detector.
1. Lots of people wear belts
2. Many of those people require the belts to hold their pants on.
3. Some of the belt wearersare not underwear wearers
4. I wish they were. (I see more skin here than Cinemax offers)
5.people will walk into the county office high AF.
6. Pot smells aweful
7. Some people smell aweful and there is no nice way to alert them.
8. I have active day fantasies about using a warm soapy cloth to wash down full grown adults
9. Too many people are missing teeth…
10 People will try to walk in with pliers, scissors, knives, pepper spray and drug paraphernalia
11. If you make friends with the guards, they will let you exit and re-enter without checking.
12. No one reads the signs identifying a broken door, or else they are all mistaking them as invitations
13.if you bump the machine, it will beep
14. Male security guards are very slow to figure out when an underwire bra is setting off the alarm
15 If you have steel toe boots, use them as the place to hide contraband… no one looks there
16 diaper bags are checked, but strollers are not.
17 knee replacementsset off alarms
18 Titanium rods and screws will not
19 the machine will light up at the height of the metal
20. I imagine Superman would set the whole machine off.

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