I am unable to sleep – I am haunted by the words of my trainer.

Training for my new job started last Monday and i have been waking up at 4:30 am each day to get ready, prepare and drop off Darla and then drive for an hour to Norwalk where my training is.

I understand how hard it is to train and smile at the same faces 8 hours a day while covering multiple topics I have done it for MAXIMUS and other companies. I understand how hard it is to discuss sensitive topics with a variety of people. But guys, I am traumatized.

Today I was told

  • “Some victims like to be abused and just want the abuse part to get over so they can get the gifts. Isn’t that crazy? Ya, they want the gifts!”.
  • Victims of Domestic Violence seek out abusive relationships. – now, mind you – this came up at bullet point 8 where this was listed as a MYTH, but the instructor went on a 20 minute chat bout how women and some men are somehow broken and they look for the relationships filled with abuse. 
  • Women who don’t get education and just stay home to keep house and raise children are asking to be divorced and abused and we can expect to meet those people applying for government assistance.  so, apparently all of my stay at home mom friends are begging for poverty and abuse .
  • I heard a story that the instructor giggled all the way through as he told us about his friend calling from the hospital to say that the wife he was abusing had poured hot and seasoned water on him in the shower – but the man did not press charges and this is the act that ended the cycle of abuse so it was a good thing this couple is now happily married fter the hospitalization of the husband.
  • There is a neighbor who for the past 15 years has washed her families cars each morning. The day she stops washing the cars, she should expect domestic violence because she set up the expectation that she will always wash the car so of course abuse will follow once she starts.
  • It takes two to Tango, the victim is as responsible for the abuse as the abuser
  • Why doesn’t the victim just leave? staying in the relationship makes the abuse okay.

You know, 15 thousand people applied for the job I just took on and about 1% were hired. I was so excited to be hired into this dream job.  But now, now I want to quit.

I was about to mail his supervisor when he saw me typing – to be honest I was going to resign and ended up sending the email to this blog as an earlier posting…so I did not much care about being seen.

As it is, I told another trainer I knew from pst encounters with my employer and he told the supervisor.

My trainer made sure to tell me that on Thursday he gets to write an evaluation about me and I should expect it to be a poor evaluation.

At this moment, 11:12pm, I don’t care. I cannot sleep because i keep hearing his voice and laughter as we discuss this topic. People, I feel sick and am emotionally traumatized! You have been along with me for the ride and I have shared my thoughts and experiences. I have worked with homelessness and substance abuse and domestic violence and child abuse and all manner of ugly human behavior – but I have never had someone paid to tell me that it is the fault of the victim while he laughed and giggled.

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