My job is helping people. I get paid to maintain a point of view that focuses on goals and helping people address the obstacles keeping them.from achieving them.
This makes me the worst and most annoying of friends.
I’m like the chef who tells you that you can’t make meatballs out of bologna slices.
If someone asks me for my help and advice then doesn’t take it , things get awkward. My friend now has to stop complaining about their situation around me or understand that they are insulting my skills by day ignoring them. Sometimes this is also just a matter of discovering my friend never had a real need for change, instead they just like the attention from drama.
If they do take my advice – well, it had better pay off or else I’m a know-it-all fraud. There are things that go wrong with implementation of a life change. When I break the steps down into measured, observable, and achievable chunks it may seem I am baby girl the friend or talking down to them. If I leave them alone to go unguided, and they get lost, forget steps and eventually fail :I’m a fraud.
If I tell them that I won’t touch their situation with a 10 foot pole : I’m not a "real friends".
My clients at work have to sign a contract of accountability. Friends can’t be asked to do the same.
Maybe I just need to start charging my friends a day converting them into clients to for the duration of the job to put in a buffer of professionalism? I don’t want my friends, whom I really care about, to be angry and feel alienated.
Or, I can turn my back, walk away and hope they fix their mess without me.