Helplessness is not a skill that will should be learned or perfected.
Lead your own life. Ask for help if you need to pick a direction; and then take action.
Every day I have to (yes, I have to – it is actually part of my job as well as a compulsion) tell grown people that they are in charge of their destiny.
This is the lecture I give myself, tell my own children, and clients – then forget to live it. It is hard to do.
There are self help mantras that ” No one should be more invested in you than you are.” “Life is not a spectator sport” “Carpe Diem” “You define yourself by actions and intention.” The ugly and frightening reality is that it is all true. This is also how changes that you want to see are made.
Don’t. Do not. Absolutely do not “just wait and see” what someone or something will do improve your quality of life. Do not wait for a better time to take control.
Will you fail? Yes. You will fail often and hurt and be scared and other people are going to witness it. You will not find cute little character bandages to make the ouchies go away.
People are going to see you fail they will be cheering.
They will be cheering your effort and the successes you will also achieve. They will celebrate and support you if you would just give them a reason to. I keep a set of pom-poms at my desk. I collect photographs of clients who have found housing and employment. I brag on my daughter who just found her first job and my friends who are able to retire. I buy something from all of my friends who run Direct Sell businesses just to support them . I now have about 10 purses and bags, and I don’t even carry a purse.
As a friend, colleague , family member and case manager: I want to help you make great choices, I don’t want to make them for you.