Today wasnt just Vinegar Day. Oh no. Somewhere a calendar named today " International Bring your Super Loud Family in Day".
Or… more accurately. ..Pack Your Kids and Possibly All Of The People You Sat On the Bus With into my cubicle and the feed them candy.
Next… fail to parent.
Gain next level of mastery points by suddenly shocking everyone by exploding 8 years of never before seen or heard (from you) parenting platitudes and threats and generally be more disruptive than the tweeked out tribe of children you are trying to wrangle. If I can still hear my own thoughts ;step it up a notch.
At some point I will stand up and demad everyone place their hands on their heads and agree that 1. All toys belong to me. 2. The toys are not yours. 3. Any fighting over toys means I will take my toys away from you and may start stealing yours.
If I have a pen or sharp object with in your grasp…give it to your kids to destroy each other with.
Because now all everyone can hear is the ruckus your family is making : please. Yell over everyone about your drug use and death threats and domestic violence.
Once our meeting is over , invite your friends to repeat this process until I vomit from stress.