Parenting vs Case Management. Am I am a professional parent.
This morning I had the talk about dreams, futures, and completing highschool at least 5 times. I am sure that the coworkers who sit near me can give the lecture by heart.
“People still ask me what I want to do with my life. I think they are trying to rub it in my face that now I can’t do nothing”
“Do anything, the phrase is ‘do anything’ , and because you don’t know that – I declare you need to complete highschool!”
When did Motherhood become a life sentence in the Poor House? Being a mother means guidance and providing for your children ; ideally in concert with the father.
“I don’t want to put him on Child Support because I don’t want him or his family to think I need them.”
“Lady, you went to the County and asked for cash each month. You need someone and that someone should be HIM and not the County. Now the County is going to start a Child Support case and repay themselves the amount of Cash Aid you are awarded for yourself and son every month.”
I saw the bumper sticker “The County is Not Your Baby’s Daddy”. I like and loathe it.
On one hand, I see many parents (normally the mom) who don’t want to work or go to school or do anything other than stay home with their children and not work. they have always had the fantasy of being a stay at home mom and at all cost (to anyone but themselves) they want to live that out. They are indignant when they are asked to turn in receipts for clothes and books. Also, they scream when their cash grant is reduced because they did not work on leaving welfare.
On the other hand, I see parents (usually fathers) who feel that the County will pay health insurance and dental care and provide funds for food and funds for rent, etc so they don’t need to support their child – emotionally, financially or physically. To them, they made the baby but the County should act as Daddy and provide while they forget the child and any responsibility owed there to.
Case Management feels so much like parenting when I am explaining the real world and responsibilities to parents who don’t understand the social contract that we all abide by – and somehow missed the regulations and contract they signed in the Cash Aid office that said they would do all that they could to become self-sufficient.