50% of Homeless Women have Experienced Sexual Violence

The #Trumptapes have made sexual assault a topic of conversation again. Donald Trump said he likes to grab pussies. FYI, “Pussy” is a synonym for vagina. Grabbing one without permission is violating someone. He said women let hem do anything to their bodies because he is a celebrity.

That logic translates often to housed people thinking that homeless people should be so thankful for being noticed that they will hand over dignity. Homeless people are expected to be thankful for being put on YouTube accepting shoes off the feet of donors who have strategically placed a camera to capture the interaction. Craigslist has ads offering free housing to beautiful homeless women in exchange for being a sexual “resource” – in other words turning themselves into a sex slave for housing.

The idea that access to the sexual features of a woman can always be trans actual ( for the fame or housing) demeans women and reduces them to a commodity.

How do you feel about that?





Politics are Personal

“All politics are local”-Tip O, when speaker of the house

I take politics personally because they touch my lifeet. The laws and the people who pass them create the system in which we live.

We have clean water.
We are not being bombed.
My kids have access to vaccinations.
Our food is safe to eat.
Our cars don’t usually explode.
Our Internet is more than 18 sites.

When you say you want the Notorious R.B.Gary. lynched, I wonder what the hell is wrong with you…for a couple of reasons.

When you support people for President to because you “want to throw a hand grenade” in the system… I wonder where your brain and heart are.

When you pontificate that someone who doesn’t do their own job particularly well and throws 3 am temper tantrums on social media should be President… I wonder if I will ever trust your judgement again.

Politics isn’t a Team Sport where one side wins or loses. Politics is a Group Event and we all win or lose.

If you post an “Open Letter”, I will post an open response.

If you can’t find facts that have been verified by more than 2 sources, “shhhh”, or call it what it is “Speculation”

If all you can contribute to the group is hate speech and prejudice, have a long talk with yourself and then with people who don’t agree with you. Are you entrenched or too proud to change your mind?

You are not the 1%, you don’t need to worry that you have “rich people problems”, you have Middle Class Problem so though they sick, no one is chopping off your kids arms.and making them dig for diamonds – so maybe complain less about the tiny fraction you contribute to Welfare Programs and be glad the government won’t let you starve.

If you have thoughtful points to discuss, and ballot measures to explore – I want to see them.
If you just can’t figure out why you can’t agree with science and research and math (basic, algebra or measured by Common CORE standards) – find the Unfriendly button and pull that trigger. You know how I feel about intellectually able people who insist on being stupid. Go away.

If you have thoughtful points to discuss, and ballot measures to explore – I want to see them.picsart_09-30-10-12-54


The US Debt is $19.3 Trillion Dollars:Blame the Poor People

This always gets me. A sweet girl (Amy Cudworth)  I knew in Jr. High posted a rant about how families could and are abusing the welfare system and she personally is paying for them.

Dear Amy, your simple knee jerk reaction was to look at the most visible consumers of American Tax Dollars and assume they are draining us dry. They are using the tax dollars and therefore are evil, bad, and are to blame for the economy.

Whoa, that is a lot of judgement and anger to be tossing around.

So Amy C., this is for you.

So let’s look at what an Average Californian pays in taxes and where those dollars go:

An “average Californian” paid $15,496 in Federal Taxes

Health $4,444.88
* Includes $2,029.08 for Medicaid
* Includes $53.56 for Children’s Health Insurance Program
Pentagon & Military $3,932.56
* Includes $842.38 for Military Personnel
* Includes $108.44 for Nuclear Weapons Wait, I don’teven want to own nukes!
Interest on Debt $2,117.06
Unemployment and Labor $1,240.79
* Includes $92.48 for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families – AKA Welfare
* Includes $35.11 for Job Training and Employment Programs
Veterans Benefits $919.34
* Includes $404.48 for Payments for disability, death, etc.
* Includes $368.58 for Veterans Health Administration
Food and Agriculture $713.69
* Includes $441.72 for SNAP (food stamps)
* Includes $42.19 for Federal Crop Insurance
Education $550.21
* Includes $183.26 for Pell Grants, Work Study, and other Student Aid
* Includes $129.96 for Elementary and Secondary Education
Government $449.98
* Includes $73.12 for U.S. Customs and Border Protection
* Includes $40.87 for Federal Prison System
Housing and Community $298.03
* Includes $57.87 for Head Start and Related
* Includes $11.02 for Homeless Assistance Grants
Energy and Environment $247.55
* Includes $50.15 for Environmental Protection Agency
* Includes $10.89 for Energy efficiency and renewable energy
International Affairs $231.59
* Includes $46.05 for Diplomatic and consular programs
* Includes $40.15 for Global Health Programs
Transportation $179.61
* Includes $29.89 for Transportation Security Administration (TSA)
* Includes $6.56 for Federal Aviation Administration
Science $170.70
* Includes $102.64 for NASA
* Includes $39.44 for National Science Foundation

TOTAL $15,496
US AVERAGE $12,978


You paid $596.65 into programs someone on Welfare would access; or basically 4.09% of your tax dollars went to people on Welfare

31.31% of your taxes went to the military funding and veterans.

That 4.09% is going into programs where some of the recipients ALSO pay taxes, and the hope is that they will rejoin the workforce and pay taxes at the same rate that you and I do.

Those programs keep people alive and fed. They house and feed children who can’t work. They reduce crime by reducing the desperation of the very poor.

And in the scenario that was posted – I would refer you to SNOPES  to address the article that says (ORANGE parts are my contributions)

How to get $75,000 in benefits every year from the US Government for you and your girlfriend?

Follow these proven and simple steps.

First … get a girlfriend…
1. Don’t marry her.
2. Use your mom’s address to receive your mail.
3. The guy buys a house. (Then guy sells house to pay fines for his crimes when convicted)
4. Guy rents out house to his girl girlfriend who has 2 of his kids.
5. Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.(Section 8 lists are closed in LA. They regularly check your income to move you out ASAP)
6. Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t have to pay for family insurance. ( That is not how that works. Do you mean Medi-Caid or MediCal?)
7. Being a single mother, Girlfriend gets to go to college for free! (I was a single mother and I totally had to pay for my own college. I am in Grad school and STILL paying!)
8. Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps (every $5 in new SNAP benefits generates as much as $9 of economic activity – according to the USDA)
9. Girlfriend gets free cell phone from US Government  (The LIFELINE phone? It breaks and is only good for 1 year)
10. Girlfriend get free utilities. (From Whom? How do you even do that?)
11. Guy moves into home but still uses mom’s house to receive mail.
12. Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims one kid on taxes. Now you both get to claim head of household at $1,800 credit. So you think the IRS won’t see you are living with your mom when she files taxes? Are you the father of the child? I am so confused. Is she working and even eligible to file for taxes?
13. Girlfriend gets disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” at $1,800 a month and never has to work again.(so why was she going to college? she can’t use that degree nor can she collect educational loans and grants while permanently disabled.)

This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people. except that it is not, and it is not. 

A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars. An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets $21,600 disability + $10,800 free housing + $6,000 free obamacare + $6,000 free food + $4,800 free utilities + $6,000 Pell Grant money to spend + $12,000 a year in college tuition free from Pell Grant + $8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother = $75,000 a year in benefits.

Any idea why the country is 18 + trillion in debt?

So basically, your argument is flawed, your premise is unrealistic, and you are a better person who is smarter than this.

All School day at @usc

Every year the School of Social Work has an ally School Day. This year we celebrate the renaming if a building.

I kinda hope they give out all the merchandise with the old name away for free.

These are the faces I see in all of my classes. They are my friends, my partners in crime, and my cohort.

Also, I drank this whole cup of soda and now I need to pee so could this presentation be over soon? Please?

This Assisted Living Facility Is Designed to Look Like a Neighborhood

I love this idea. I worked in an locked down Alzheimer unit for a while and I think the patients would really have warmed to this.

The elaborate interior layout is meant to help patients with anxiety and depression.

This message was sent using ShareThis (

Created with Microsoft Fresh Paint

The Ugly Truth of Obama Care Users

The woman was on her knees, holding my hands and openly weeping. Her son sat at the desk looking a pale shade of green, his deep eye hollows shading the tears forming there. They were thankful, grateful, relieved and so overwhelmed by the Cancer diagnosis that they could not formulate a reasonable reaction to being approved for health insurance.

A young girl of 16 came spoke in whispers while huddling in the corner. Her high schoocryl guidance counselor sat in the other corner, quietly, patiently, and letting the young woman answer the questions. She had been raped ( I did not ask nor need to know ) and now she was pregnant. She could not tell her parents yet which meant she could not use their insurance. She did not yet know what her choices would be but she knew she needed the health insurance to be able to make them, and pay for therapy for herself either way.

Liver spotted, hunched over, deaf and living on Social Security, the $104.90 deducted from her Social Security payment was the difference between having electricity and heating or going without. Medicaid picked up that small bill and the elderly man seemed to grow inches taller as he sat straighter without that burden.

Young families working multiple part time jobs but drugsnothing full time that offered health insurance came in to apply for Medicaid for their children and were delighted and shocked to find that they could have health coverage as well.dr

Hate Obama Care and the Affordable Care Act and Medi-Cal and Medicaid all you want, then sit in the lobby of the DPSS office where people shuffle in, feeling ashamed, hopeless and rejected by all other means of assistance and survival, and tell me again why this program is evil.

Home, Homelessness and Kindergarten

My little one started Kindergarten yesterday. I posted her photo in Facebook and enjoyed the comments updating the ad I waited out the hours before I would see her again and hear about her new adventure.

One of the comments.was from the mother of a childhood friend, she said she remembered my first day of Kindergarten.

My first day was very different from the slow morning of juice and giggles and snack packing the two of us enjoy as a mommy daughter morning. Her whole life has been wildly different than mine was at her age – and that is wonderful.

I started Kindergarten at Holly Avenue in Arcadia California three days after the year had started . There had to be enough space for me since I had no paperwork on February and was being enrolled by someone not related to me and with no legal rights to care for me. I had never been to day care or preschool and could not name a letter. However, I could roll a joint, pinch a roach clip, and tell you what a gun shot sounds like. I could tell you how to sleep in the metal rocketship in the park undetected over night and how to charm a grown up out of hitting you. By my first day of Kindergarten I had said goodbye to my mother for the last time and still believed my baby brother and older sister would magically reappear in my life for naps under Mrs. Websters table.

I walked into a class where Jennifer Balmot, Kelsey Hertwig, Kathy Little, and Kristi Powell were the "it" group and had known each other from Preschool and growing up on the same street. Me? I was sleeping in some old lady’s library (not a bad gig, by the way). I met Molly Johnson who inexplicably became my very first friend and taught me to write the word "love". At recess I could see my brother Shane on the big Kids playground while I jumped off the top of the baby jungle gym elevated in the Kindergarten yard. I still have the scars from falling down.

Basically, I still have scars.

I know Darla misses her Dad and her sisters and sometimes is sad that I am the only family in her world right now; but she is safe and secure in her own bedroom. She had homework tonight and asked me of she spelled.’watermelon’ correctly. She had.

Homelessness doesn’t just touch Moms and Dad’s- it creates anxiety and uncertainty for the children that can’t ever be completely erased because it is part of the fundamental years and development.

End Homelessness as soon as you can, for a single child, a family, or all together.

New beginnings start every day, but foundations are only laid once.


Child Care, All That Stands Between Us and Poverty.

Dear LAUSD and all public schools,

Please make more room in your after school care program. I can’t be the only parent facing this challenge.

 I could not work if I did not have child care and I could not afford child care if I did not work.

Right now I am a single mother working 40 hours a week while paying over $720 a month for the Preschool and childcare that allows me to do that. Everything will change in 16 days and the perfect routine my life is in will implode. See, in two weeks my baby goes to Kindergarten.shakeyswithallsaints

On September 16th I will gladly celebrate not driving an extra hour each day to take Darla to Preschool. She and I will make the short walk to Kindergarten at an LAUSD Charter school which sits directly behind our home. She will be able to see her bedroom window from her classroom. I was thrilled to have her at this school because it has a good reputation, is close, and best of all I could stop spending $700 a month on child care. Fenton Primary has an after-school program through 21st Century Kids and I expected to be able to enroll Darla so she would be in safe and licensed care until I could pick her up after work each day.

One morning in May Darla and I walked over to Fenton and enrolled her for Kindergarten. I took utility bills, her immunization record, birth certificate and completed a hefty sheaf of forms and Emergency Slips. The portion asking for Emergency Contacts and “Who can pick up your child” was awkwardly blank. We are a 2 person show over here. It is just me and a five-year-old. She and I have an understanding that if she is not bleeding or dying I won’t be able to leave work to come and get her. sickdaysChildhood illnesses are a luxury we can’t afford. I pay all of our bills and keep us afloat with one income. There is no support; financial, physical or emotional, from Darla’s Dad or the rest of our family. Three years ago I made the choice between Darla having a 2 parent home or a home where she and I would not be beaten and abused. I chose to give Darla a safe home. Don’t feel bad though, even when Darla’s Dad lived here I worked to pay all the bills and childcare.( I won’t worry about libel and slander for mentioning this because he and his friends had Facebook discussions of when it was okay to hit me – because obviously I deserved it.)  Becoming a single mother saved me money and I was able to stop taking her to the Emergency Room after she was left in his care.

On that May Morning when I enrolled Darla in Fenton, I asked about After School Care. This was a topic not covered in the stack of preprinted forms and required enrollment reading. The wonderful office lady explained that after school care is done by a separate entity and would be sending me enrollment forms over the summer, and she asked me to write my contact information in a red binder on the desk.

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My Sweet Baby  Cares About Others, We need Someone to Care for Her.

Last week the classroom assignment letter came, but there was nothing on after school care. I called the school and found out that Darla is number 27 on the Waiting List. Wait, what? Waiting list? Considering that the school has fewer than 600 students, I did not expect there would be a waiting list. Had I known, I would have spent the summer finding a solution.  I was told that many children drop out the first week of care and to cross my fingers that there would be a space for her, possibly as soon as the second week of school.

I am now in full blown – write open letters at midnight – panic mode.

I am the only income this family has. I am the only adult. I can’t work if I don’t have child care. Without work I can’t pay for housing or food. Quality, affordable childcare for my school age child is all that is keeping us from being a Homeless Welfare Family. I am in a scramble. Who is around and trustworthy to watch my sweet girl for three hours a day, every day, five days a week? No one. My boss told me she used to pay a high school kid to walk her daughter to the Boys and Girls Club. There is no equivalent within walking distance from the school. Although she can see home from her classroom, she can’t get there alone and certainly can’t stay in the house alone waiting for me. My job is 30 minutes away, I don’t have time to drive out and pick her up from school and drop her off at a Child care center.

What should I do? Do I move her into my bedroom and find a stranger to rent her room to, a stranger who is willing to watch her while I work?ourhouse Do I take a week of vacation and pray to God that 27 children turn away from the afterschool care? I have already explained to 21st Century Kids that I need them to take my daughter because it is just me and her. I am risking life and limb and starting the Child Support Process, but her Dad already told me that just like he doesn’t pay his income taxes, he has no intention of ever paying child support. Once, when he was using an aluminum water bottle to beat my head, he did mention that if I died he could find many ways to live of off my life insurance, and did I have insurance for the baby? If he paid child support, I might be able to take that week off of work and hope a day care space opens up…but that is not a realistic option.

The irony of all of this: I am a social worker who specialized in helping homeless families in the Welfare Department and now I am a month away from becoming one of them. I am open to any and all suggestions, but also really hoping that @LAUSD will hear my plea and find room for us.



Darla’s Mom