Filed under venting

#wp Accountability – who is responisible for ending your personal homelessness

Accountability.
It is endlessly frustrating to speak to someone who is telling me they ONLY have 70 days left on a shelter before I need to find them new housing.

NO! no, no , no! You have 70 days with in which to find yourself housing. Take this time to look for a job. Apply for low income housing EVERYWHERE! Stop planing for failure! I am here to help, not live your life FOR you. Seriously, I have kids to live through; I am not living through you.

I am frustrated that you are not seeing yourself as Un-Homeless.

This blog is almost 7 years old

It started in a Las Vegas hotel room, the day after my 34th birthday. I was with Leslie, Bonnie, and Isabel and discussing my job in the “dodgie” part of town aka LA’s skid Row. I had made friends with a wonderful man, Mike, who had a blog and worked for Microsoft. He encouraged me to try out this Blogging thing he was doing and let me read his Robert Scoble book “Naked Conversations”.

Being from Arcadia CA, there was not a lot of information on poverty and homelessness handed out. I knew some of my friends came from insanely rich families, and some lived in “cracker box” apartments – and none of that really mattered to any of us. Of course, I have always been out of touch with the most basic of facts and it wasn’t until a few years ago that it occurred to me that Amanda Sanchez, a childhood friend, is probably Hispanic. Who knew? Well, presumably she and her family did, but it didn’t matter.

When I started doing Social Work I was just so glad to have a job that it took me a while to wonder why I worked in a Social Service agency ( Santa Anita Family Service) where a homeless man lived in the parking lot but no one was offering him help. Eventually I realised that there was not much help to be had.

It is beyond ridiculous that we have homeless citizens. It is frustrating that there are not enough jobs, and it angers me that I have people who could work: but it doesn’t fit into their schedule.

This is my place to explain to you everything I want you to know. What is homelessness.
How Homelessness can be ended.
Why I am cranky all the time (this is some stressful stuff)
What I really like about this area
….
New or old, thanks for hanging in with me

-Sonya

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I should not judge

But I do. I am happy to help my family, friends, family of friends, friends of family – and  oh yes, the clients.

I want to meet each person with  a positive outlook, hope, and faith in them. Every time.

Each greeting is a fresh start. The past is what happened and now we plan for the future and for success! ♥ Go US! Watch us succeed!

But today I slipped – okay, I slid down a Slip And Slide hung off the edge of the Grand Canyon – I picked up momentum and there is no hope of a soft slow landing any time soon.

Time to chant – I will not judge. I will be helppful. I will reflect hope and faith. I will stop stabbing the voodoo doll in my desk while I smile benignly. I will not lecture people.  I will not throw THE STARE to anyone else today. I will not want to kick people under the desk. I will remember that I believe. I will remember that I am serving children by helping the parents. I will not scream when the parents want money but no help. I will not judge.

 

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Spam Comments

This is more of a Blog issue than a Homeless issue. Thank you for anyone who has ever left a real comment.

www pic found at divyun.comI have the most annoying Spam of all time – and I am very happy that WordPress screens for it. Really – I speak German – so I know when your comment is explicit and I will delete you. I will also delete your English comment if you are clearly pushing an unrelated product or service – or if your web site or link is more than PG-13.

Sometimes I know the “suck up” comments are just for show – but I have an ego – so I will delete your email or web page link and in a very self serving manner – keep your compliment.

You have been warned.

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I don’t know how to help

  • “Joan” and her 14 year old son are living in a car
  • “Brenda” is pregnant and has a husband and a teen aged son and a dog
  • “Suzie” is 7 months pregnant and wants to find work to be able to pay a friend  a little something for letting her and her 4 year old stay in the living room through the winter
  • “Diane” is in a Domestic Violence relationship for the third time since I have met her – this is the third guy. She won’t consider therapy and is homeless again with a 7 year old daughter.

Can I go home now?

“I am not a quitter,  I am not a quitter, I am not a quitter” – I need Tylenol.

We all need places and shelters where entire families are welcomed .

We need shelters that are not afraid of teenage boys

We need Health Education in the Schools about “Healthy Relationships”

and as always – we need more jobs and more affordable housing.

  • “Brenda” needs to loan the dog to a friend and choose her son over the animal.
  • “Diane” and “Suzie” should meet and share an apartment. (but I am not allowed to introduce them to each other)
  • or “Joan” and “Brenda” ‘s families could share an apartment.

###################### Pardon Me #########

Can we have a special bulletin board for low-income families to find each other and combine forces to find housing?

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Plugged in Without a Power Bill

aka Homeless with Web

I found this on Gizmodo – “I’m homeless and this is why I have an iPad” and this

http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2010/10/he-may-be-homeless-but-at-least-he-has-facebook/

Homeless With Web Access, picture via Hardly Normal via TokyoMango/Twitter

Is it okay for the homeless to have cell phones and FaceBook and Twitter accounts and e-mail?

It had better be if you expect them to ever become housed. And anyway, who cares what you think, did you read some of the “funny?!?!?” comments below the second link. Vile.

What I know – and more or less I am becoming an expert on the homeless thing – seeing as I have been working in the venue for many years. Wow, that’s gross, to think that homelessness in America became prevalent in the Civil War Era and has been going on in a modern society such that I can be housed off the backs of serving those who have no housing… but I digress..

What I know is that:

  1. Housing rentals
  2. Job listings
  3. Resume sights and employment sights
  4. Grocery coupons
  5. Information on Social Services
  6. Friends, Family, Supporters

are all on the internet. Being “plugged in” is as much a survival skill as knowing where the cheapest laundry mat is . Oh,  you can find that information on the internet as well!

So, if you do happen to connect someone like this – or anyone in fact – to the internet – is there a “Social Media  for Noo-b’s” book out there? No, there is something better. In fact, it is  cool it won a Pepsi Refresh grant. check it out:

http://www.wearevisible.com

 

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Should Poor People Have Fun?

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”-The United States Declaration of Independence

“B” of The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness insists that once public funds are “given”, they are “given” to be spent as the recipient sees fit. I disagree. Last year I received about a thousand hits the day I responded angrily to the idea that someone should be encouraged to use their public assistance check for a Gibson Guitar. (For the record – WHAT THE HECK?!?!? I still say NO!)  Often I issue funds for specific reasons (Books, clothing, transportation) and I expect them to be spent accordingly and receipts returned to me. As a citizen, I expect the cash we hand to other citizens to be used responsibly as part of the business deal they entered into when they asked for help.

This is not to say that I  think that poor people should live lives of drudgery and misery and that every waking moment should be spent in the pursuit of self-sustaining employment and safe, secure housing. Happiness, or the pursuit of it, is essential. I only work 40(ish) hours a week.  As a social worker I only ask clients to spend 32-35 hours a week working, looking for work, or in community service. This is hardly 24/7.

The deal is this “temporary financial assistance” is issued through the Department of Public and Social Services. “Financial Assistance” is supposed to “assist” you to meet “basic needs”. Trips to Universal Studios, nice restaurants, , guitars, cigarettes, alcohol, acrylic nails, hair extensions, new car stereo, TiVo or Cable subscriptions do not fall into these categories. If you are receiving financial assistance from taxes (SSI, SSDI, Disability, Unemployment, General Relief, TANF) then these are not the items the funds were intended to procure for you. However, as gifts from other people – okay – I get it. Who doesn’t deserve a good manicure (especially if you are being treated ?!?)

Can the impoverished have nice things? Of course. Should those things be used against them for qualifying purposes for public assistance ? Only to the extent that the laws and rules allow. Your house (and car if you live in it), burial plan, wedding rings, etc are not counted as saleable items you should have to spend before asking society for cash, food and medical insurance.

Historical sidenote from your geeky author – Ben Franklin asked Thomas Jefferson to amend the phrase “pursuit of happiness” from its original statement that mentioned accruing real property because Franklyn thought property was a luxury that needed to be taxed to support the society.

Everyone should be allowed happiness and specific periods for having fun. Trips to Museums are free with proof of CalWORKS enrollment. The County of Los Angeles also has a Toy Loan Program for children whose families can not afford to buy them new toys. Time with family – just reading, playing, and bonding is worth more than any amount of money.

I want to see people of all income levels laughing, loving, thinking for themselves and enjoying life. I don’t think that lack of funds requires a lack of enjoyment – I just think that the HAPPINES you are having should not be the main use of any aid you receive.

Read More ♥♥ http://365faces365days.com/c/2010/face-62-frank-homeless-happiness/

http://girlsguidetohomelessness.com/2009/08/11/who-says-homeless-people-cant-have-fun/

http://www.ladpss.org/dpss/calworks/free_events.cfm

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Today’s desk sign.

I am frustrated today.

  • “I can’t learn anything, I am pregnant!”  
  • “You won’t give me more money for my new baby?!?!”
  • “I don’t see why I have to look for work if I have to take maternity leave in over half a year”.

Here is my frustration – you are in CalWORKS because you don’t have enough money to support the family you are heading up right now. I get that, this is the reason I am here – to help you find ways to earn more money and become self-sufficient and leave the system.

I don’t understand why you would add people, on purpose to your family before you can afford them. Trust me – I totally understand that Birth Control fails sometimes, and sometimes women don’t have a choice about having sex or getting pregnant. Also, sometimes we have to take in the children of our family and friends because we can parent and care for them in a time of need.  But I question your wisdom if you deliberately decided that you needed another baby and while you are pregnant will not work or go to school.

If your doctor says that working or going to school would put your life or the baby’s life in danger – well, okay. Please stay in bed. My best friend has been on Bed Rest with her twins since she was two months pregnant in order to save her life and that of the babies.

But it is the women who walk into my office – and I had one today – who tell me that their period is a week late so they need to be excused from the GAIN program for the next year , 9 months of pregnancy and 12 weeks of recovery – and wait – after the baby is born she can be exempted for 2 more years and all the while collect cash aid, that drive me insane. At no point does she think she will want to go to school or work.

She has found a loophole and a way to live only on public assistance without putting any effort into the system or her own families well-being.

With my first child, I worked until the day I went into labor. I am 4 months pregnant with a high risk pregnancy and still at work every day.  I am not a hero or particularly dedicated – but I am a mother who knows the value of having my own paycheck and the value of being able to provide housing for my children with as little help as possible.

How do I teach that lesson to my clients?

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So, One Time I Ate With a Homeless Friend…

So you should give me a job because that makes me a nice person. Right?

Disingenuous at best, coming across “I’ve spent a holiday on Sunset Boulevard with a homeless friend eating in a diner and enjoying his stories.” on a resume’ cover letter makes me uncomfortable.

Eat with your friend – don’t hold them up as examples of “good deeds”. If you volunteer with a set population, such as people who are homeless, I want to hear about it. But I do not want to hear shallow “look at me!!!!” examples where you abuse the misfortune of others for your personal gain.

I would not hire you. If you know someone who will, please let me know.

read more ♥♥http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/kid/1876974810.html

Where did I go?

Sorry. My life has been a little crazy : people in the hospital,  people deciding to let their hearts stop while in the hospital, unexpected new babies, how do you tell the constantly dying patient about the new baby, exceptional children doing internships at the zoo, people claiming emotional “broken-ness”….

Uggh.  Are you kidding me?!?

Usually I only have drama in the office and my little life is all boring and contentment. For now I am just going to ignore the drama and get back on track over here. 

Thank you for your patience.

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