Category Archives: children

Jan 10 2013
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california, children, government, homeless, poverty

Poverty rates in California

1 in 5:Ratio of California’s children living in poverty.

6.1 million: Total number of people living at or below the poverty line, as measured by the Census Bureau’s Supplemental Poverty Measures.

45%:The percentage of poor adults who grew up in poverty.

38.1%:The share of black children under the age of 6 living poverty.

22%:Rates of single mothers with children under the age of 18 in California. Single-parent households have become a growing demographic across the nation.

73%:Female-led households.

1 in 3:Ratio of African-Americans and Latinos being raised by a single mother.

7 million:The number of uninsured people in the state. Medical-out-of-pocket expenses are among the largest drivers of poverty under the Supplemental Poverty Measures.

300:School districts with at least 25 percent of children living in poverty.

37.9%:Lake County’s percentage of poor kids. It has the highest share among California’s 58 counties.

3.7%:Calaveras County’s share of impoverished youngsters, the lowest proportion in the state.

Facts by Rosa Ramirez| Reporter
rramirez |

Jul 19 2012
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california, Child Services, children, education, employment, employment opportunity, entitlement, foodstamps, GAIN program, government, health insurance, jobs, kindness, medical, poverty, Social Work, unemployment, welfare

Wicked Witch of the Welfare Office

 ImageUsually I feel pretty good about my job. Today I am disenchanted. I had an imaginary conversation with myself.

I am the evil witch lurking…ahem…working in the welfare office.

My Inner Angry Republican pitches a fit about 50 times a day. And with good reason too.  But my out Professional Social Worker tries to seek better solutions and keep it all in check.

Money for nothing?! Not really – you have to work (or prepare for work) to be granted cash aid
But if the parents don’t work the family still gets money True – but we choose to believe the parents are not spending any cash aid on themselves and only on their children
You are on crack, right? At least tell me you are screening the welfare peeps for drugs. No. We don’t test the parents – but we do ask them 7 questions to screen them for substance use and abuse
Then you take their money away, right? Of course not. We schedule them for a Clinical Assessment and chose to believe they are not buying beer, weed, crack, coke, schrooms, uppers, downers, etc . We need to believe these drugs are DONATED to them.
Why do you believe that? Because a habit is expensive, if they could afford a strong heavy habit – they don’t need Welfare funds and we would have to cut them off
What’s bad about that? Because we know they are not magically “finding” the money and we sleep better knowing the money has at least made it into a parent’s hands and there is a chance that it is being spent on the family
Do you require receipts for how the cash aid money was spent No
Why not? Too much trouble
Don’t you believe that if people were accountable for how the money was spent, they would spend it on toothbrushes and rent etc and not on cat food, veterinary bills, drugs, strip clubs and gambling Did I tell you about the time I did ask for receipts and the person bought job interview clothes at Caesar’s Palace Shops?
Why did you ask for receipts that time? Well, because GAIN  – or Welfare to Work gives money for job clothing, school books etc.
Oh, so there is some accountability. How does that work out? One time a lady bought 7 pairs of shoes as her work clothing.
What, was she a stripper? Many of my clients are strippers or in elicit but legal trades. I give them credit for making the effort.
So you encourage this activity? I encourage work of any kind. They need to do 32-35 hours of work type activity a week.
Why only 35? I do at least 40 hours of work and 20 hours of volunteering and have up to 4 kids in my house. I don’t know. At 32 hours an employer is supposed to be offering benefits like health care so families can leave Medi-Cal Insurance.
What if they don’t want to work or train, etc? Then they can say they have mental health or substance abuse or domestic violence issues or are homeless and the requirement for these hours can be waived temporarily or permanently.
Are you serious? Of course, It is the compassionate thing to do. If someone is so stressed or overwhelmed that they really cannot function in society; I don’t want to set them up for failure
So you take their children away, right? Why would we? We take a licensed professionals word – or sometimes the client tells us – that this person cannot work or go to school or do community service. What does that have to do with parenting?
Well, a 40 hour a week job is easier than 24/7 parenting. Never the less. We trust that these parents are doing what is best for the children.
Does Welfare really look out for the WELFARE of kids. Kinda,. Sorta. We make food funds and cash aid and medical funding available to the family and trust they are being accessed on behalf and for the benefit of the kids.
That’s it? Also, we ask that once a year a report card or immunization card is turned in. See, we care.
But there is a time limit on this, right? Bill Clinton put a time limit. Yes, the Federal Time Limit is 5 years or 60 months of Cash aid per family
Whey. At least that is clear and simple But some people stay on Cash Aid from the 7th month of pregnancy until their child is 18 years old.
WTF? Or until the baby graduated from High School. 
How can you stay on Welfare for over 18 years Easy. Say you were in a domestic violence relationship. Or that you are too emotionally disturbed to hold down a job or really benefit from the program. How can we push you out of the nest?
OMG Oh, my goodness indeed. See me? I am saving the world over here.
Do you really feel like that? Of course.
You’re sick. No. no fever, I feel fine. Thanks for the concern.
How are you really helping them? I am not. I make sure they have the resources to help themselves. Poverty sucks. People will move on  at their own pace. All I can do is offer options.
Like what? I will pay for child care so they can work, or I pay for books, fees and supplies for vocational training or college.
Vocational Training? Sure – you know, so people can be hair dressers and such
Very few hair dressers live far above the poverty line and there are no medical, dental, vision or life benefits with that position usually Well, then I hope each of them is the next Vidal Sassoon or Jose’ etc. I realy can’t be bothered to make sure it will make them rich or middle class. I just want to say I have “X number of clients participating” and then hope they can keep their heads above water off Welfare.
Seriously? Seriously.
Why didn‘t I hear that you pay tuition? Are they required to use their cash aid for tuition? No. The tuition at a public Community College will be waived and Federal or other financial aid will cover it at other types of schools.
When I went to school, I paid Tuition Well, you should have had a child an not been able to afford it.
Speaking of that… when new children come into the family – what happens? Usually the Medi-Cal and Food stamps increase but not the cash aid. After all – birth control is free on Medi-Cal.
Did you say “usually”? Well yes,. Some children are exempt from the Maximum Family Grant.
Meaning they qualify for raising the family cash aid amount Sure, if they show proof they were on long term birth control like a shot or IUD – or they can say they were raped and then we take their word and cover the baby as well.
OMG I know. Aren’t we nice? And – we have thousands of families leaving welfare each year.
How many of them leave before their time limits are up?How many stay on despite the time limits

How many are forced off or “timed out”?

 I don’t know. But aren’t I nice?

 

 

 

 

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Jun 04 2012
2 Comments
california, Child Services, children, GAIN program, los angeles county, poverty, Women

Child Support: end profiting by discriminating against single parent families on cash aid

Stop profiting by discriminating against single parent families on cash aid!

A two parent family who lives as a household on public aid is not expected to repay public assistance. . A two parent family who lives separately while one parent and the child(ren) receive public assistance will have to repay the entire assistance .

My daughter just turned 18 years old and is two weeks from graduating High School. For the past 12 years I have been her sole support except for $240 a month; a partial child support payment. There is a $10,000 balance on the child support case and my daughter and I will never see a dime of it. I was on cash aid for about 5 years and completed college against the advice of my DPSS social workers. For the last 12 years I have not been on cash aid but the County of Los Angeles is still collecting Child Support to pay for five (5) years of cash aid.( I actually work in the welfare system now) The County of Los Angeles has received over half of my child support order for 17 years. This $10,000 is past due child support never paid to me.
A two parent family who lives as a household on public aid is not expected to repay public assistance. . A two parent family who lives separately while one parent and the child(ren) receive public assistance will have to repay the entire assistance grant even though fewer dollars were given to this family than to the family living under one roof.
For example:
Joe and Sue live together, have a child together and together they request cash aid. They receive a cash aid payment for Joe, Sue and Baby . Cash aid ends and Joe eventually moves out. Joe and Sue enter into a Child Support agreement. Sue is able to collect the full amount of child support ordered.
But maybe:
Joe and Sue don’t live together when they have a baby and apply for cash aid. Sue receives cash aid for herself and Baby for three years when Sue completes her education and finds a self-sustaining job. The County of Los Angeles demands Sue give her child support rights to them and they take all but $50 of child support. After Sue leaves cash aid the county continues to take more than half of the child support. After the baby turns 18 the county continues to bill Joe for all the cash aid Sue and Baby received when he was not living with them. There is an additional 10% interest charge added to the debt the county believes is owed to them.
Why do we ask some parents to repay cash aid and not demand that all parents pay this back – or let none of them pay it? Is it double dipping to take tax payments out of paychecks and have the taxes go to social welfare programs and additionally garnish money to pay for the social welfare your child is using?
And, who monitors these accounts? The California Child Support system has been adding on 10% for years and I think the outstanding debt on the account is more than any cash aid award my family received. I was labeled a Welfare Mom, he was labeled a Dead Beat and the state of California and Los Angeles County are making a profit.

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May 24 2012
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Child Services, children, education, employment, facebook, foodstamps, homeless, housing, hunger, poverty, shelter, welfare

Living Third World in a First World Country

Ending Homeless-ness. It sounds like a noble cause, but mostly is just frustrating.

The reason people are in the streets is because there is nowhere else for them to go. Even though the numbers of vacant houses in the US outnumber the Homeless Families; there is nowhere that these families can legally turn. There are not enough emergency shelters or even dedicated floor space under a ceiling to direct people to when they need to escape the elements.

How would you provide this child with access to a bath if she is homeless?

I often find myself in the ridiculous position of remembering that homelessness is a “First World Problem” – because back when this same bit of land would be a Third World country; Native Americans slept outside, under the stars, in caves and in tents. Surely a corner of someone’s garage or being crowded into a living room is better than that? I remind myself that Galileo did not have cable television or even electricity.  

And yet, while there is enough low hanging fruit and food stamps to keep bellies full: I am looking at a population who is living a Third World life in a First World country. I see little children who have to get homework done before their only light sets in the west while their classmates have canned light and the internet, a safe quiet bed to sleep in and access to refrigerated food and cupboards of nutrition at their fingertips.

 Last week a FaceBook friend commented that if the parents of these children could not find a way to afford better living for them, the parents should relinquish the children to adoption. What? Aside from the entirely different story of an overcrowded Foster Care System and millions of un-adopted children already waiting for homes – there is a selfishness issue there.

If a family is willing to take on a child and pay for them for eighteen years, could that same family take in the child’s family for a shorter period of time and foster them to self-sufficiency? Would they use the extra bedroom for a child and his parent(s). No, the child did not contribute to the parents un or underemployment and the child did not make the choices that led the family into homelessness, but what emotional cost are we willing to charge the child and entire family by splitting them apart?

There are no easy answers to Homelessness. Certainly the only solution is housing. Housing, however, costs money – and lots of it.

Ways to access money:

  1. Earn it through work
  2. Inherit it through death
  3. Steal it through crime.

Clearly, the socially acceptable means is employment; however there are few jobs available. I have clients and parents working at hamburger stands and chicken joints and cleaning houses and washing dishes and babysitting, and day laboring and all the jobs the media tells us we need illegal aliens to do. I am sending parents to college and trade schools so they might qualify for better jobs in a skilled sector. It seems, however , that there are not enough jobs that would pay enough for a family to rise out of homelessness and become self-sufficient.

These families are situated in urban settings and not on a commune where Third World work and life are possible. There are no field for subsistence farming, nowhere to herd cows in order to milk them for a glass of milk, and if someone were to kill the animals available in the city for food they will be prosecuted and placed in jail: ending their homelessness temporarily at least.

I don not have an answer to Homelessness. I am constantly frustrated to meet families eager and determined to save themselves when I have no way to house them and no direction to point them to that will guarantee shelter.

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May 18 2012
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california, children, employment, foodstamps, Social Work, welfare

You have a child; that means your uterus works. It does not mean your brain quit!

  Parenting vs Case Management. Am I am a professional parent. 

Please God, let me be a good parent. Image

This morning I had the talk about dreams, futures, and completing highschool at least 5 times. I am sure that the coworkers who sit near me can give the lecture by heart.

“People still ask me what I want to do with my life. I think they are trying to rub it in my face that now I can’t do nothing”

“Do anything, the phrase is ‘do anything’ , and because you don’t know that – I declare you need to complete highschool!”

When did Motherhood become a life sentence in the Poor House? Being a mother means guidance and providing for your children ; ideally in concert with the father.

“I don’t want to put him on Child Support because I don’t want him or his family to think I need them.”

“Lady, you went to the County and asked for cash each month. You need someone and that someone should be HIM and not the County. Now the County is going to start a Child Support case and repay themselves the amount of Cash Aid you are awarded for yourself and son every month.”

I saw the bumper sticker “The County is Not Your Baby’s Daddy”. I like and loathe it.

On one hand, I see many parents (normally the mom) who don’t want to work or go to school or do anything other than stay home with their children and not work. they have always had the fantasy of being a stay at home mom and at all cost (to anyone but themselves) they want to live that out. They are indignant when they are asked to turn in receipts for clothes and books. Also, they scream when their cash grant is reduced because they did not work on leaving welfare.

On the other hand, I see parents (usually fathers) who feel that the County will pay health insurance and dental care and provide funds for food and funds for rent, etc so they don’t need to support their child – emotionally, financially or physically. To them, they made the baby but the County should act as Daddy and provide while they forget the child and any responsibility owed there to.

Case Management feels so much like parenting when I am explaining the real world and responsibilities to parents who don’t understand the social contract that we all abide by – and somehow missed the regulations and contract they signed in the Cash Aid office that said they would do all that they could to become self-sufficient.

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Mar 08 2012
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children

How You Will Stop Kony

It isn’t enough to just sign this petition or “LIKE” the video on FaceBook.



Congress sends us off to war and our elected officials set the policy for our nation. Reach out to them and let’s get their attention! I know they are all  busy trying to bet re-elected or elected in the first place. If they want my vote, they need to be responsive to my concerns.Find your Congressional Representative here : http://www.house.gov/representatives/ or just call them. Here is the California Rep’s phone list.

1 Thompson, Mike D 231 CHOB 202-225-3311 Ways and Means
Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
2 Herger, Wally R 242 CHOB 202-225-3076 Ways and Means
3 Lungren, Daniel E. R 2313 RHOB 202-225-5716 House Administration, Chairman
Homeland Security
Judiciary
4 McClintock, Tom R 428 CHOB 202-225-2511 Budget
Natural Resources
5 Matsui, Doris O. D 222 CHOB 202-225-7163 Energy and Commerce
6 Woolsey, Lynn D 2263 RHOB 202-225-5161 Education and the Workforce
Science, Space, and Technology
7 Miller, George D 2205 RHOB 202-225-2095 Education and the Workforce
8 Pelosi, Nancy D 235 CHOB 202-225-4965 Democratic Leader
9 Lee, Barbara D 2267 RHOB 202-225-2661 Appropriations
10 Garamendi, John D 228 CHOB 202-225-1880 Armed Services
Natural Resources
11 McNerney, Jerry D 1210 LHOB 202-225-1947 Science, Space, and Technology
Veterans’ Affairs
12 Speier, Jackie D 211 CHOB 202-225-3531 Homeland Security
Oversight and Government Reform
13 Stark, Fortney Pete D 239 CHOB 202-225-5065 Ways and Means
14 Eshoo, Anna G. D 205 CHOB 202-225-8104 Energy and Commerce
15 Honda, Mike D 1713 LHOB 202-225-2631 Appropriations
Budget
16 Lofgren, Zoe D 1401 LHOB 202-225-3072 House Administration
Judiciary
Science, Space, and Technology
17 Farr, Sam D 1126 LHOB 202-225-2861 Appropriations
18 Cardoza, Dennis D 2437 RHOB 202-225-6131 Agriculture
Foreign Affairs
19 Denham, Jeff R 1605 LHOB 202-225-4540 Natural Resources
Transportation and Infrastructure
Veterans’ Affairs
20 Costa, Jim D 1314 LHOB 202-225-3341 Agriculture
Natural Resources
21 Nunes, Devin R 1013 LHOB 202-225-2523 Ways and Means
Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
22 McCarthy, Kevin R 326 CHOB 202-225-2915 Majority Whip
Financial Services
23 Capps, Lois D 2231 RHOB 202-225-3601 Energy and Commerce
24 Gallegly, Elton R 2309 RHOB 202-225-5811 Foreign Affairs
Judiciary
25 McKeon, Buck R 2184 RHOB 202-225-1956 Armed Services, Chairman
Education and the Workforce
26 Dreier, David R 233 CHOB 202-225-2305 Rules, Chairman
27 Sherman, Brad D 2242 RHOB 202-225-5911 Financial Services
Foreign Affairs
28 Berman, Howard D 2221 RHOB 202-225-4695 Foreign Affairs
Judiciary
29 Schiff, Adam D 2411 RHOB 202-225-4176 Appropriations
Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence
30 Waxman, Henry D 2204 RHOB 202-225-3976 Energy and Commerce
31 Becerra, Xavier D 1226 LHOB 202-225-6235 Ways and Means
32 Chu, Judy D 1520 LHOB 202-225-5464 Judiciary
Small Business
33 Bass, Karen D 408 CHOB 202-225-7084 Budget
Foreign Affairs
34 Roybal-Allard, Lucille D 2330 RHOB 202-225-1766 Appropriations
35 Waters, Maxine D 2344 RHOB 202-225-2201 Financial Services
Judiciary
36 Hahn, Janice D 2400 RHOB 202-225-8220
37 Richardson, Laura D 1330 LHOB 202-225-7924 Homeland Security
Transportation and Infrastructure
38 Napolitano, Grace D 1610 LHOB 202-225-5256 Natural Resources
Transportation and Infrastructure
39 Sanchez, Linda D 2423 RHOB 202-225-6676 Ethics
Judiciary
Veterans’ Affairs
40 Royce, Ed R 2185 RHOB 202-225-4111 Financial Services
Foreign Affairs
41 Lewis, Jerry R 2112 RHOB 202-225-5861 Appropriations
42 Miller, Gary R 2349 RHOB 202-225-3201 Financial Services
Transportation and Infrastructure
43 Baca, Joe D 2366 RHOB 202-225-6161 Agriculture
Financial Services
44 Calvert, Ken R 2269 RHOB 202-225-1986 Appropriations
Budget
45 Bono, Mary R 104 CHOB 202-225-5330 Energy and Commerce
46 Rohrabacher, Dana R 2300 RHOB 202-225-2415 Foreign Affairs
Science, Space, and Technology
47 Sanchez, Loretta D 1114 LHOB 202-225-2965 Armed Services
Homeland Security
48 Campbell, John R 1507 LHOB 202-225-5611 Budget
Financial Services
49 Issa, Darrell R 2347 RHOB 202-225-3906 Oversight and Government Reform, Chairman
Judiciary
50 Bilbray, Brian P. R 2410 RHOB 202-225-0508 Energy and Commerce
51 Filner, Bob D 2428 RHOB 202-225-8045 Transportation and Infrastructure
Veterans’ Affairs
52 Hunter, Duncan D. R 223 CHOB 202-225-5672 Armed Services
Education and the Workforce
Transportation and Infrastructure
53 Davis, Susan D 1526 LHOB 202-225-2040 Armed Services
Education and the Workforce

http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-joseph-kony-once-and-for-all

read more ♥http://www.npr.org/2012/03/08/148239201/joseph-kony-is-now-a-star-but-will-he-be-caught?ps=cprs

♥http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Kony

Sure, this happened – but was it enough?

“Getting Kony Was Already A Policy

The capture or killing of Kony is already official U.S. policy. Prodded by Invisible Children and other human rights groups, Congress in 2010 passed a law requiring the president to devise a strategy to eliminate the LRA.

Last October, President Obama detailed the administration’s plans for doing so, including the announcement that 100 U.S. troops would be deployed to Uganda to provide intelligence and logistical support.

There are still snags. The LRA now roams through densely forested land along the borders of South Sudan, the Central African Republic and the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The U.S. is trying to work with all those armies, but they have failed to come together in an organized or effective way, says Mark Schneider, a former Peace Corps director who is now with the International Crisis Group, which supports conflict-prevention efforts.

Congo’s security forces have been wary of letting Ugandan fighters into their country to come after the LRA.

“The question about how you manage to close in or surround the LRA when you still don’t have full cooperation from the Congolese military raises a serious concern,” Schneider says. “They continue to pose obstacles to Ugandan forces.”“

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Feb 09 2012
2 Comments
california, children, income, welfare

California Child Support #FAIL!

Child Support payments are automated and issued on a debit card. This month the service was switched from Bank of America Visa to Eppicard MasterCard.

EppiCard is like Epilady, painful like pulling hair out from the root

Every time I call the line becomes disconnected and I have to call back to attempt to find the magic combination of buttons and options to find a real person. I attempted to log in on  https://www.eppicard.com, but apparently I must speak to a Customer Service person first.  Now each call is costing 50 cents.

For all questions related to the California Debit MasterCard®cardholders should call the Customer Service toll free number at 1-877-777-1617; TTY: 1-877 411-6119; International Calls: 210-331-2268. Customer Service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and handles calls related to:

  • Reporting lost or stolen cards
  • Balance inquiries
  • PIN changes
  • Transaction history requests
  • Registering a complaint about a card issue
  • Questions about card usage
  • Questions about international card usage

This is crazy and useless. I can’t use the internet for customer service and now they are charging me half a dollar for the pleasure of hanging up on me.

And now I just called to find out that due to a Fire Drill practice – no one is available to answer my phone call. So, apparently “Customer Service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week  - unless there is a safety drill. In this case, we are unconcerned that you are using your 10 minute break at work to attempt to call us, and thanks for the two quarters we just charged you.”

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Feb 03 2012
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children, homeless

Homeless in Public

On my way into jury duty this morning I heard a child ask “why doesn’t that man sleep at home? You’re not supposed to sleep in public!”.
So, tell me. What I bothers you more; knowing that folks are homeless or having to see it?
Obviously when you are homeless,  everything is in public.
Imagine never using a private toilet. Or shower. Or clothes washer.  Always sitting in chairs that belong to someone else.

Not once being able to close the door and walk around in pajamas without the worry that someone will see you. Not being able to cook and leave food out on the counter. Owning your own silverware ….
And for everyone offended about women who breastfeed in public, remember that homeless women don’t have their own rooms to sit or lie in to feed their children.

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Feb 02 2012
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Child Services, children, Social Work

Questionable Parenting Moments and DCFS

This week is filled with thoughts about parenting.

When I was a kid I waffled between not wanting any children and wanted to have 12 (and then name them after the disciples :I was a closet mini-Bible-Thumper )

Having Jackie was a shock and I was fairly young, Darla was also not planned and both of them are joys. When Jax was a baby I used to wonder where her parents were and why they were late picking her up. Then it would hit me that “I” was her parent. My kid brother is 10 years younger than I;  and I was a nanny while in college, and for no apparent reason – babies and little kids like me. So do ugly men, old men and all canine dogs. Jax I raised alone and for Darla I am trying to keep her two parent family in tact, but frankly, I don’t see why or that it is much easier than doing it alone. Certainly the drama is not attractive. 

This week’s drama involved the county Child and Family Services threatening to remove Darla if they find anything wrong in the home of my friend’s kids. Are you kidding me? I can not win for losing! I am not sure what is happening with them – but because it would severely complicate my life, relationships with their parents, and the kids  I have not opened that can of worms.  I have, however spoken a parent and discussed any and every concern I have had. No, this did NOT make me a popular family friend and almost ended my friendship all together. 

A long time ago we had Mandated Reporter training here in the office and I was told that I have to report on ANY child, ANYWHERE or I face prison and a fine. Well, that sounded ominous so I called DCFS and they said that I would be excused for not reporting if I ever had Bonus Kid concerns specifically because it would complicate my life.

So, why is it that a DCFS worker told me that my Mandated Reporting ended when I walked out of the office at work? She went on to say that if DCFS finds anything wrong with my friend’s children they would take Darla because I didn’t do anything, didn’t say anything, didn’t keep the kids from going home, even if I didn’t know anything?  The worker did not ask me if I have any concerns, or say there was any basis to anything, or even tell me what the issue with those children might be. She just straight up told me that she would remove Darla if she finds anything.

So – what is the message? I have to report every little concern and be a nuisance or I don’t have to do anything.

Oh, and personal side note, you get one guess who is being blamed/credited/accused for the appearance of D.C..S. .

Meanwhile, at work I pulled a baby bottle of sweet ice tea out of the mouth of a 3 month old. Teen mom and teen dad thought baby would like it because she had tummy problems. I told them to talk to the WIC lady and call the family doctor because their health care is provided for free. This was at the same table I have pulled narcotics out of a toddler and in the same office I have called DCFS when my walk to 7-11 resulted in passing by a car filled with children unattended on a hot summer day. 17 year old girls are telling me the planned to have that first baby at 14 and want 4 kids by the time they turn 21.I have families living in boxes, in cars, in tents in the local forests and parks and when some of the children come to my office I just let them raid my snack drawer because I know they didn’t eat anything that day.

I am starting to wonder if children deserve parents who are given basic skills classes when pregnancy is diagnosed. Maybe, like the Swiss all have to serve in the Swiss army for two years and Mormons all have to go on Missions, maybe all American children should have mandatory parenting classes as part of sex ed in junior high-school so they are pre-armed with the skills they need if and when they have children.

Children are more important than ‘the love of your life”. Your children are more important than your girlfriend, boyfriend, parent, husband, fiance, or wife. Being a good parent is more important than shopping, eating, travel or success in business.

Being a good parent means being aware of your child. Knowing and responding when they are hungry, needing bathing, clothing or a nap. Being a good parent means BEING THERE, being present in their lives at all points in their life. Being a good parent means having a personal relationship with your child so you know them as an individual. Sometimes being a good parent means recognizing that you can’t or don’t want to do all these things and letting someone else parent your child.

But, what do I know. Apparently I am just someone that a DCFS worker who didn’t give a business card or last name can threaten to walk out of my home with my 1 year old because I pulled a “Joe Paterno” and did not complain enough if I had any concerns.

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Dec 27 2011
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children, CHRISTMAS

On CHRIST, Christmas and Homelessness

 I Jesus was homeless

Image from http://www.rubywildflower.com

Because I am shallow and I judge people I tell my friends:

it they stressed out over Hanukkah and Christmas giving, that they did it wrong. The holidays are about giving and showing your love for others (ideally in a reflection of God’s love for us – but I won’t Bible Thump because that annoys me also)

I don’t feel bad for sitting with my family and sharing gifts on Christmas. Jesus hung out with his family and received gifts (two years later in Egypt – but the gifts came…. If they had FedEx it would have been more timely).

Jesus would not have deserved better gifts if he had been born to a married mother instead of a single mom.

Jesus would not be worth more if he had a stable home environment for his first few years of life.

When Jesus was in his 20′s and wandering around with friends, sleeping on friend’s floors and befriending tax collectors, lepers, and the homeless, he was just as worthy of gifts and love as he was when he was a newborn.

Stop looking at everyone’s income and station in life as a measure of personal worth. (otherwise I have no value because this girl is poor and doesn’t own a home).

Not everyone wants to be homeless and it is rarely a lifestyle choice.

Poor people do get hungry on days other than Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. No one can live on 3 meals a year so if you want to give food in a meaningful way – break away from the throng of people handing out turkey on these days and donate food and time on any other day. In fact – pick several random days and donate food. There are so many ways- as to be a “guest chef” at a shelter, find out who prepares food for your local rescue mission and how you can join in, or drop off 50 sack lunches to your local school for the low income children. Think out of the box.

Stop claiming that Santa ruined Christmas through commercializing it. A man who dedicates his life to giving  to the least powerful of us ,aka children, is a wonderful analogy of Christ who showed great care to the meek and lowly.

 

 

 

 

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