Great Moms Are Mean

“I know ow you gave me the paper in July, but when I didn’t return it to you… uh … I expected you would notice and send me another form. I kept waiting for you to call and tell me how you were going to fix the problem.”

  • The problem is that clearly this beautiful, polite, sweet kind and loving young woman had a NICE mother.
    A mother who finished her homework for her
    A mother that didn’t give her chores.
    A mother who did her laundry and put it away

A mother who was so concerned about providing a gentle and ideal childhood that she missed some of the important items. The not so pleasant items.

Hardship. Hard work. Self reliance. Challenge. Understanding of power roles and responsibilities.

Teaching that can suck because it isn’t a lot of fun.
No one wants to be MEAN and when your kid doesn’t automatically ace these lessons and you have to be harsher and really make sure the message gets across…well, you can feel like an ass.

But… When you give up or skip these super important skills and lessons, you have set your child up to fail.

There are many reasons people end in poverty. Sometimes it really is as simple as the person was not equipped to navigate life as an adult and be responsible for themself.

As I just told a sweet, granola crunching, homeopathic, all natural mom friend… sometimes you have to be MEAN to do the job well.

My  oldest is just now starting to  feel the importance of my guilt and reluctance to be MEAN  because I wanted her her to her to like me.

Amish Romance Novels have Colored My Case Management

I graduated from The University of La Verne, which used to be Lordsburg ; historically a Brethren institution. Brethren, Quaker, Amish. Simple and sweet and somewhat similar.

Graduation was over a decade ago and I have lost sight of some of the tenants. Fortunately I’ve been listening to the Overdrive application on my phone and making my way through the genres when Chic Lit /Romance had a turn. Somehow I found a series of Amish Romances.

What have I learned from this?

1. A reminder that simplicity does not mean deprivation

2. Things take time and it is okay to dedicate time to doing chores and even fine to enjoy them

3. Television is both a luxury and distraction

4. Books are gold

5. Family is everything

6. Forgiveness and trust come in a variety of layers

7. I really like jeans and scandalous clothing get and short church sermons

How does that affect my work?

Many of my homeless or near homeless people are doing without indoor plumbing of their own and don’t have electricity or televisions or video games.

These are 1st world problems and magnifies because we live in the 1st world.

Many of them are living lives that entire countries would envy with multiple changes of clothong, fresh water and fresh fruits and vegetables.

I’ve been less sorry for people when they unpack their troubles and more able to pinpoint the foundation beams of their suffering.

Amish Romance has been like liposuction for the dramas I try to cut through.

Check out this cool image made with PicsArt by me at

Where is she? Has Sonya gone missing? Update

I have not been missing, I have only not had time for blogging.

Real life is a 24/7 kind of thing and my youngest daughter is in every minute when I am not at work, and of course work takes up all of my time between 8 am and 5 pm 5 days a week. Sadly, voice recognition software is not reliable enough for me to narrate my blog entries.

Currently I am taking a 10 minute break from work. Theoretically I should be taking a walk down Naomi Street in Burbank and calling my Grandmother. Today I am determined to sit here and chat with you.

Work is depressing. This week I have been taking a holistic look at the population I am working with and the number of single parent homes with children too young to attend school is staggering. They are the majority of the homeless families I see. As the single parent of a 3 year old myself; I know how this happens and how this can happen, but it still is so sad to see.

Holidays are approaching and the local nonprofit agencies have already taken signups for Christmas Donations. I am working on the mendgala if you have a suggested donor.

And, I have been looking at grad schools because I feel like I have more to give and need more tools and letters behind my name for credibility.

In my personal life, I have done my part to end homelessness by renting my extra room to a lady and her daughter. I don’t like having other people in my home who touch my stuff, and insist on using my silverware and can’t manage to pay the full rent on time…but I can’t throw them out either – it would be rude. I have been fulfilling my resolution to spend more time with friends and make sure that Darla has a core group of girlfriends to replace the sisters who went missing a year ago and for whom she mourns actively. Oh, and I finally ordered art work for my living room. Yay for me!

I still remain as the only monolingual English speaking Caucasian in my workplace and my name is still attached to 3 times the average case load so of course I have been too busy to do more than forward articles on homelessness. I will try to say hello more often.

Oh, one of my little kid books was picked up by MaryTylerMom. Find my stories here:

In the meantime, tell me what questions you have.

#MENDPOVERTY #meeteachneed #homeless homeless in los Angeles , hunger , Sonya Keith, single parent , meet each need, Pacoima, Christmas

Benefits vs. Assistance

I haven’t quit my job because it has awesome benefits. I did not have children specifically to receive cash and food and medical care. No one does.

Or at least, no one who can do 2nd grade math would think cash aid is enough to live one, especially not with a child.

There is a politician saying single mothers are married to the Democratic Party because of the benefits. What?

My inner Angry Republican wants to take someone out for coffee and a "Come to Jesus" chat.

Can u get an Amen on Community Colleges being unequal

Unless you have a connection like a CAl Works office or other program keeping you focused and prioritizing tour class enrollment – Community College can be a wasteland. My own brother has been sacked into the vortex of credits for over 10 years now.
Read this article and re watch the video

CalWORKs for pregnant women

Cash aid is available for women who are in the 4th month of pregnancy

Legislative Victory!

New Law Will Help Facilitate Financial Independence for Pregnant Women

In a hugely positive development for pregnant women – especially victims of domestic violence – on September 26, 2014 Governor Brown signed into law Assembly Bill 1579, known as the Healthy Babies Act.

The Act allows pregnant women to obtain CalWORKs benefits as early as the second trimester of pregnancy. CalWORKs provides income and employment opportunities which help keep pregnant women financially independent. Currently, CalWORKs assistance is not available until the third trimester of pregnancy.

Early access to assistance can help mitigate financial pressures and ensure better health outcomes for pregnant women and their infants. In fact, domestic violence is the most common health problem among pregnant women – one in six report physical or sexual abuse during pregnancy.

CalWORKs is a lifeline to safety for abuse survivors. According to the California Institute of Mental Health, eighteen percent of CalWORKs applicants apply for CalWORKs to escape abuse. Allowing pregnant women access to this resource earlier in their pregnancies will help low-income survivors of violence and their children remain independent, healthy and safe.

The Legal Aid Society-Employment Law Center co-sponsored the Healthy Babies Act.