MEND Featured in Drive Time on KNX

Awesome email from Marianne Haver Hill

> This evening (Friday) at about 5:45, MEND was featured as part of KNX News Radio’s monthly “On Your Corner” live broadcast. This month, the station’s on air talent broadcast from the City of San Fernando, and businesses and organizations in the Northeast Valley were featured.
> This one of the best radio pieces I’ve heard on MEND, and includes a wonderful quote from co-founder Carolyn Rose, as well as quotes from Foodbank Director Rich Weinroth , a couple of clients, and yours truly.
> Enjoy!
> Marianne
> Marianne Haver Hill, President and CEO
> MEND — Meet Each Need with Dignity
> 2012 California Nonprofit of the Year

Multiple Personality

Summary of the annoyance that produced my PO’D paper pusher personality…

Client " I went to jail and my psych says…"
Me "Stop"
Client " well I’m on medication for…"
Me "Don’t tell me"
Client " I don’t plant to look for work because. .."
Me "Read this please. It is the rule about being self sufficient and paying your own way"
Client, rising and peeking out the door "Well, I just came over to say hello and make friends with you."

Me: Shut Up! Sit down and shut up.
"Please. I don’t need to know all that.
I have a job to do so let me do it… in silence "

Client "But I …"

Me " I’m not letting you leave until you sit down, be quiet and focus. I’m not playing with you."

when no one is looking

I don’t always complain about life in a cube (I am the only one with my own windows, after all) or about people who don’t really want to take care of themselves ( I suspect that no one really wants to be self-reliant, it is just easier for some people to lead the charge and not be afraid to make life altering choices). I do more than run to 7-eleven and sing daily for free coffee.

When no one is looking

And few people can hear

I listen, I plot, and I case manage. In other words, I do the work I love doing and hate that there is a need for.

Example :

He works forty hours a week. It takes 2 hours on the bus to get to work and 2 hours to come home.

8 hours of work + 1 hour lunch + 2 hours to + 2 hours from =13 hours each day for work.

This leaves 11 hours for family, but 8 of them are needed for sleep. So now he has 3 hours for family time.

Because he works the late shirt, he catches the 2pm bus to work. His children are in school until 2:15. HE sees them each morning as they wake up for school and he is coming in from work.

Except: he doesn’t have a home.

His wife is pregnant and recently diagnosed with Diabetes and they have to school aged children. When she lost her job they could not afford their apartment and have been couch surfing ever since.

Wife feels like a failure, she is lost and feels alone/ Husband is doing all he can – he doesn’t have much time to look for another, closer, better paying job. She doesn’t think anyone will hire her while she is pregnant.

So I ask you:

How would you help them?

What suggestions would you make?

Great Moms Are Mean

“I know ow you gave me the paper in July, but when I didn’t return it to you… uh … I expected you would notice and send me another form. I kept waiting for you to call and tell me how you were going to fix the problem.”

  • The problem is that clearly this beautiful, polite, sweet kind and loving young woman had a NICE mother.
    A mother who finished her homework for her
    A mother that didn’t give her chores.
    A mother who did her laundry and put it away

A mother who was so concerned about providing a gentle and ideal childhood that she missed some of the important items. The not so pleasant items.

Hardship. Hard work. Self reliance. Challenge. Understanding of power roles and responsibilities.

Teaching that can suck because it isn’t a lot of fun.
No one wants to be MEAN and when your kid doesn’t automatically ace these lessons and you have to be harsher and really make sure the message gets across…well, you can feel like an ass.

But… When you give up or skip these super important skills and lessons, you have set your child up to fail.

There are many reasons people end in poverty. Sometimes it really is as simple as the person was not equipped to navigate life as an adult and be responsible for themself.

As I just told a sweet, granola crunching, homeopathic, all natural mom friend… sometimes you have to be MEAN to do the job well.

My  oldest is just now starting to  feel the importance of my guilt and reluctance to be MEAN  because I wanted her her to her to like me.