Dear Homeless in L.A.

Just ask me. Don’t be embarrassed or awkward:just ask your questions so I might answer them here . You are probably not the only person with your question and everyone can benefit.

I will he running this mid week or as often as I have fodder for it.

I am not going to invent question, so please chime in.

@sonyakeith
Homelessinla.com
Homelessinla

Approval Not Required

Respect is required to balance out gender roles. @arthuraidala of Foxnews applauds people on their outside appearance. Total strangers may warrant a standing ovation if they are 1. Female and 2. Pretty in his opinion.

Wow.
So that bald and rude dude right there is a microcosm of what happens to women all the time.

This especially happens to poor women.

Poor women with children who are not attractive are treated with less kindness and respect than, say, Paris Hilton. She is attractive, not a parent, and not poor.

If Paris and Average Poor-Mom are carrying get heavy bags: Paris is getting help first.

If Paris and equally qualified Ms. Poor-Mom apply for a job, the pretty lady is getting good it.

If Poor-Mom, Paris, and bald Aidala all apply for a job they are equally qualified for — Mr. Aidala will most likely be hired. Why? Because he is male.

In my experiencd working woth the public in several venues, the rank of approval and trust goes thusly:

1. Rugged Adult male
2.Average adult male
3.Adult woman in pant suit
4. Attractive adult woman
5. Teen male
6. Adult male with criminal past
7. Average to unattractive female
8. Unwashed and inebriated adult male
9.Teen female
10. Children
11. Welfare Mom

It is not a wonder that men like Arthur Aidala act as if their approval is complimentary.

What would society look like if we respected all adults equally? He can start by giving his "slow clap ovation" to men as they walk by. Oh, too silly?

Maybe he could sit his butt down and continue to mind his own business as people walk by him.

#feminism #sexism, faux news, street harassment, cat calls

Halloween, Scary Things, and Fear; what is okay as a halloween costume?

I am reading a lot of about why Ray Rice shouldn’t be a Halloween costume. The Devil = okay for Halloween. Ray Rice = not okay.

HALLOWEEN IS ABOUT WHAT FREAKS US OUT

Can we talk about this?

Halloween is a chance to explore our fears, to laugh at what terrifies us, and to share and scare others with abominations of normalcy. Domestic Abuse is terrifying and an abomination.

*I don’t think it is appropriate to dress children up as adult issues – except for dressing as adult vocations like astronaut, mom, fireman, etc. that you have to be a certain age to be in real life but not obscene adult issues like exotic dancer or hobo or anyone affiliated with Ray Rice and abuse.

However, as adults, yes. This should be fair game.

*Anyone, real or imagined, current or historical figure is fair game in my Halloween play book. Hitler, Stalin, Ghangus Khan, Ray Rice, Maury Povich, players of the NFL ; if you are the stuff of nightmares then you are the right stuff for a scary Halloween Costume and you deserve to be mocked until you hold no more power over us with your fear inducing behaviors. This extends to current news worthy events like diseases such as Ebola and Chicken Pox and illnesses such as Leprosy, They are scary , Halloween is about facing fears for one night.

Victims are not appropriate costumes – they are not scary and mocking them is not okay. The Homeless, the hanged, the discriminated against, the powerless are not scary and they have not done anything to warrant your fear or mockery. Ray Rice is fair game, his wife should not be. OJ Simpson is fair game, Nicole Simpson is not. If you are going to draw a politically correct line that still respects the origin of the holiday… draw it here and be less staunchy about people who have a different idea of appropriate than you do.

Go ahead – disagree.

How is @Walmart still in businesses?

Silence of the Lambs much? Fat costumes with men dressed in side body forms for large females… why not call this :Silence of the Lambswool bucket and lotion accessories @walmarthub?
Ugh. Just not classy and also not anatomically correct.

So Walmart thinks butts and saggy boobs are funny with dripping stomach rolls? Where are the love handles and back hump and the buzz in their ears about "not socially acceptable, unhealthy, ugly, and unsexy?"

I’m going on record here , Walmart. I am 42 years old and no one has made a fat joke about me since High School (Kelly Costanza:I’m looking at you).
Until now.

Walmart, this was a juvenile move.
#fatshame

Answers Happen Everywhere

An Engineer and a Farmer walk into a restaurant…
And do immeasurable good.

This civil Engineer has built raised garden boxes for over 100 families. He lives in my Hometown of Arcadia where he spends his week days improving that city and his free time feeding the homeless with his church and connecting to MEND to help low income families around Pacoima grow their own food.

He is speaking with Luke ( aka the Hipster) about how to efficiently build more and continue supporting the growing efforts of the families who have one.

For my part, I like that I can see Darth Vader and someone named Luke in the same photo. We had lunch at Myke’s in Van Nuys -which is a great place to go if you want eccentric and yummy food.

We went with Nene, Laura, and Darla.

Real Men Do

Real men do abuse, kill and maim.
I keep hearing people, even the POTUS , say "Real men dont…"
But that’s not true is it? We are not imagining people who commit heinous acts. We have not been invaded by body snatchers.

Real men rape.
We don’t like it. We don’t approve. But if we can dismiss these people as less or other than human then we don’t have to address the bigger issue.

People are animals. Two legged, speaking, usually dressed animals and we travel in packs. In clubs, fraternities, families, countries etc. We behave the way we do towards other people because we are near other people.

And once we call every person a PERSON , not 2/3rds a person or an unreal person, but actual person we can address, plan and change behaviors.

Individual people and large populations of people _ it is human string theory. The same item (people) reacts differently on micro and macro levels.

We need evaluation, education, training, cultural changes … starting with naming it for what it is.

We don’t dehumanize. We won’t use words that keep our minds slipping off the topic like Teflon.

#abuse #notallwomen #realmendont abuse, domestic violence , politics

MEND Featured in Drive Time on KNX

Awesome email from Marianne Haver Hill

> This evening (Friday) at about 5:45, MEND was featured as part of KNX News Radio’s monthly “On Your Corner” live broadcast. This month, the station’s on air talent broadcast from the City of San Fernando, and businesses and organizations in the Northeast Valley were featured.
>
> This one of the best radio pieces I’ve heard on MEND, and includes a wonderful quote from co-founder Carolyn Rose, as well as quotes from Foodbank Director Rich Weinroth , a couple of clients, and yours truly.
> http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2014/10/24/knx-on-your-corner-mend-in-pacoima/
>
> Enjoy!
>
> Marianne
>
> Marianne Haver Hill, President and CEO
>
> MEND — Meet Each Need with Dignity
>
> 2012 California Nonprofit of the Year
>
> Www.mendpoverty.org
>
>
>
>

Multiple Personality

Summary of the annoyance that produced my PO’D paper pusher personality…

Client " I went to jail and my psych says…"
Me "Stop"
Client " well I’m on medication for…"
Me "Don’t tell me"
Client " I don’t plant to look for work because. .."
Me "Read this please. It is the rule about being self sufficient and paying your own way"
Client, rising and peeking out the door "Well, I just came over to say hello and make friends with you."

Me: Shut Up! Sit down and shut up.
"Please. I don’t need to know all that.
I have a job to do so let me do it… in silence "

Client "But I …"

Me " I’m not letting you leave until you sit down, be quiet and focus. I’m not playing with you."